Check it out, here’s the deal – it’s been a…5 months. First of all, I’m still bald and fat for those I haven’t seen in a while. Let’s see…I moved to Houston, I got hit with the diabetes diagnosis back in March and I am on all the drugs (send that Mounjaro right into my veins), I’ve applied for guardianship of my nieces and nephew (5 of them bitches), my 5K time is still trash, and I need more lamps all the time.

Houston review – it’s hot earlier and way more humid than DFW.

Diabetes review – sucks to suck but I might be looking fabulous soon.

Kids invading my house review – dude just don’t make it messy and you won’t have to clean it. Y’all literally just ate. Why is it so loud? Guess that’s not a review. 10/10 wouldn’t have them anywhere else. Actually if I was rich I’d pay for them to be somewhere else but since I’m not rich I guess this is all I got.

Friends/family review – Special shout out to the Vy family for doing everything I couldn’t do. Everyone else has been great and willing to help out or offer advice or just listen to me talk about the process.

I’ve received lots of what I assume is amazing parenting advice and it’s well meaning but I’m not trying to raise these kids. That’s Big Parent Energy. Bitch I’m just keeping them fed and hopefully alive, as is the Uncle credo.

Rule 1: don’t fuck up my shit
Rule 2: don’t die

That’s basically it right?

-bee