Not sure the year matters as I’m probably not going back anytime soon and writing about it.

Started this in Thailand somewhere on November 17 so happy birthday over here too, Loy!

Do you know the best way to dominate (just under) 24 hours of international travel? 24 hours of fucking Christmas musics (not a typo, stylistic choice) on repeat. It me. Coupled with my Sony WH-1000XM4 headphones it’s probably literally unbeatable. I guess if I had a billion dollars it would be beaten by not flying commercial but that’s probably not an issue I will come across in the near future. Hell, flying Premium Economy or just first class would make it better but I didn’t have someone sitting next to me so I guess that’s as good as it gets. Also, as a 5’3 dude I don’t (and never have) need more leg room and as a temporarily skinny dude I don’t need more side-to-side room.

I had my first International Date Line experience. At the time all I could think about was how long of a Friday I could have or how short of a Saturday it was going to be. From a little bit of googling it looks like you can have just around 48 hours of a full, long ass Friday. Almost as long as my wait at the Social Security Office felt like. But it was cool. It went from Friday to Saturday (for a moment) to instant-Sundays. Luckily I was able to be conscious and do some meditation app to keep the streak alive (260ish days then) and like the show Whose Line is it Anyway? The show where everything is made up and the points don’t matter! It really doesn’t matter. We’re all going to die and I guess that’s not a fun topic but hey, good luck.

When I met my bestie Huy in elementary school (FOB from Vietnam) I remember we used to play tackle football in the summer at the field between Midway Park and Trinity. This was before fifth grade but this sumbitch showed up in a new country and was instantly better than me at every sport. Fucker. Anyway, he told me I asked him if he used to sleep in his school clothes and I do n’t remember it but I did because that saves precious sleep minutes to get dressed (turns out I have sleep apnea). Some years later I asked him about it being around that many Asians and he was like “uh yeah that’s normal”…bitch STFU. I’d never experienced it before but being around this many Asians was cool. And then I immediately forgot about it.

 As an ABC (American Born Chinese) I’d never lived that life. ABC I incidentally learned from Vanishing Son (WAAAAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOO) and Thailand is as close as I’d ever been – UTA (University of a Thousand Asians) was close but in the College of Business there weren’t a ton of us. I guess that’s just living over there but it was a new feeling for me. I’m American AF because i want to make money and keep as much of it for myself as I can. I don’t know if there is anything more American than that. CAPITALISM bitches.

Like I’m here in the Tiaoyun Taipei International airport and ostensibly we’re the same people (if you go back far enough, plus, ignoring genocide) and it’s just cool. I have never felt exotic or nothing because I’m a short, fat Asian guy and we’re not in short (get it?) supply anywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel fine at home because it’s home. Still, whenever someone asks me where I’m from I’ll say “Texas” or “Hurst/Euless/Bedford” just to be an ass and then when they clarify I’ll tell them where my people are from – Chinese by way of Laos. Still, in the back of my mind it occasionally feels like perpetual foreigner syndrome with the “where are you from?” questions that pop up from time to time. From talking to others on the trip, that has come up for them as well. It’s not good or bad, it’s just a (and my) reality. My only response to that is when someone asks me that – I also ask them when they moved here or their family. I’m not mad but I am a petty ass bitch. I guess obviously I’m not from here but less obviously, neither are you.

Not that I’ve been to either. Thailand is as close as I’m getting anytime soon. I used to want to go, then not, and now it would be cool. I have no attachments to The Motherland but that’s not my motherland (Texas being my one true love).

Some numbers:

+2.5lbs from Thailand/Taco Bell on landing
145.7lbs starting/148.2lbs ending
36 hours – longest Friday of my life.
4.22 miles running in Chiang Mai – around the Old City sucking in all the pollution but it was cool. Much more historic than my new Conroe subdivision
30 steps – how far away 7-11 was from us in Chiang Mai. Legit I didn’t know I needed this.
8 – massage parlors near us on the first hotel in Bangkok. Literally the best thing ever. 90 minute massage for 8-900 THB/$27 Legit I didn’t know I needed this.