Crazy year. I finally installed my cabinet handles and drawer pulls. Life is a lot easier with ‘em now but I still catch myself opening the drawers by pulling it open from the drawer face.

Let’s do the numbers:

+1 year of age
+5 roommates
+1 high school graduate
+1 new house
+1 new city
+1 new job
+1 new car (to haul the wards)
+1 new diabetes
+2 diabetes drugs

-1 old house
-1 old city
-33 pounds since starting Mounjaro+Metformin – feel free to ask me about this

Still have my rugged good looks, great hair, and can run like the wind though so it’s not all bad (note: none of these are true). I’m here I guess that’s enough.

Great year even with the unexpected family shenanigans.

My to do list for 2025 was basically this:

• Buy a house
• Sell a house
• Buy some beer
• Drink some beer
• Nap

Last minute addition:

• Legal guardian the shit out of these kids

It’s not all easy but it is not entirely daunting. These kids are fairly self sufficient but can make bad choices but that wouldn’t be a life if you didn’t make bad choices I reckon. Plus they say 6 7 all the fucking time. Like y’all lame as hell. Most people already know but having great friends and family as a sounding boards and just general advice giving is a feature and not a bug.

There’s levels to this adulting shit. I knew I didn’t know a lot of it but damn not sure I needed to add 5 kids to the mix. I’m not mad about it or anything but damn (again). The first 6 months was basically survival mode but now that I have some big things knocked off the list, I feel if I can get them through high school without completely messing them up I guess that’s something of a win. I hope they like short shorts and no shirts on their uncle Bee ’cause you getting that in spades.

As a now legal guardian, many times it feels like this scene in Saving Private Ryan when they are going to Omaha Beach for the landing on D-Day “Port side stick, starboard side stick, move fast and clear those murder holes!” I’m just telling them what they need to do and the kids basically acknowledge I’ve said words and then immediately disregard it (as they should).

My strategy since I can’t hit them is to PT them to death for infractions. You didn’t do your chores (put away dishes, vacuum the kitchen, clean your room)? We’re doing PT. Leave a mess outside? PT. Talk back too much? Guess what? PT! Maybe they’ll learn that they don’t need to take the hard way out of everything but I guess that’s just a dream for me.

It’s great but now they are getting fit AF so I gotta think of something else before they beat my ass.

I don’t know how to navigate all of this but I imagine a beer won’t hurt now that I’m a one mortgage bitch. Feels good.