day 2

As I came to, I realize it’s day 2 (Thursday) and I’m in freaking Tel Aviv.

I head to the Embassy but the security guards won’t let me in unless I have an appointment so I turn around and walk the 2.5 kilometers to Carmel Market which isn’t the most productive use of my time as I don’t like markets it seems. I basically walked all the way over there just to walk through the market without buying any or all of the things. Bee is dumb.

After I escape the market, I see that I’m about halfway to Old Jaffa and I keep on going. I guess that was my goal for the morning, anyway. I cross all the streets, through a park, and end up on the edge of the Mediterranean Sea. This is pretty cool. I’ve read a few books and stories where they are in or on the Mediterranean. Kind of neat to be at the edge of it.

It doesn’t get any more Mediterranean Sea than this.

After walking for a bit on the edge of the Sea, I take a moment to pause and reflect while sitting on a bench, staring out over the Mediterranean, and contemplating life (out of breath to be honest) while enjoying an XL energy drink, just like they did in the olden days. Which is to say it was like ten seconds before I started to look at my phone and sip my energy drink. Just like they did 2,000 years ago.

Powering the Middle East for thousands of years!
I get to Old Jaffa and walk around and after seeing some cool things, I’m black on hydration.

Finally made it.

Cool map depicting distances to various cities/landmarks.
I walk around and around and hit up some sketchy neighborhoods before I pop into a bar of all places and get kinda drunk. Turns out that’s the best way to see new towns. Walk a couple of blocks, pop into a bar. Get on their Internets. Rinse and repeat. Basically, if you never read another blog of mine then that’s what I’m doing on vacation. Unless I can make that 5K in Antarctica happen. Dunno about a half-marathon.

Cadre I’m black on alcohol
BJ Tours-without-the-J is in business!

So after recovering from nearly passing out from being dehydrated (didn’t happen) I walk a brisk mile back to the hotel so I can link up with Stacy  and her friend so we can carpool to Jerusalem. In the car I fall instantly asleep but keep waking up with the car dips forward as homeboy keeps slamming on his brakes. He slams on the brakes one more time and we’re in downtown Jerusalem. Their hotel is not far from Kham’s so I head over there…only to not see Kham there. So I find Kham and we’re drinking beer and get a free Passover shot. Not sure what’s in it but it’s minty. Probably arak.

French fries and arak.
Which is a lot of words for me to say I went to Jerusalem after hanging out in Tel Aviv and Jaffa and then I took a nap. We wake up at 22:00 and are bored so we search for the remote control. No joy. Kham calls the front desk-

“Shalom.”

“Excuse me do you guys have a remote?”

“Yes.”

“*five seconds of awkwardness* oh…uh we can’t find ours, can you bring one up?”

“Yes.”

It was good. That’s all I got.

Deserted as hell. But also, shalom
So we walk around downtown Jerusalem and we see some bars, find a non-kosher pizza place and have a grand ol’ time. Needs some hot sauce though.

Where’d I go?
Also, we’re still waiting on the remote a month later.

Hi Dan.

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