I quit my first GORUCK event over the weekend. 31-1 is the record. Bloody hell. Even with #goquit I had a great weekend! Maybe because of #goquit. Back in March I signed up for Heavy because it’s my favorite event and the best event ever and and it was a city I hadn’t spent any time in, Philadelphia, so hell, let’s go.

Lots of firsts this weekend:

  • Drank my first Zima
  • I did my first event without my main water bladder (MSR Dromedary) 😢
  • I saw us fly over another plane

I got to Philly and met up with VP-best-P who had ordered us roast pork sandwiches from Dinic’s which was an OK sandwich but I didn’t think it was amazing. It wasn’t no falafel or #shawarma from Israel. We checked into the room and napped. Rather, attempted to nap but I was wide awake so I got some water and did my prep for the event. 15:00 – we get in our Uber and ride out to John Michael’s to link up and carpool to the start point at Chadds Ford. We got to meet his lovely family. Also, Mark Witt was there 👀 Then we hopped in the car and after an hour, we roll into the parking lot.

John Michael ready to crush all the things.

Start points are the best. There’s a lot of “hey! We haven’t seen each other in a while!” and “man I know dat ass/boot combination but I forget your name!” Combine lots of chatter, lots of lube, lots of feet taping, interesting smells, some nerves and you’ll get the pre-game jitters of a GORUCK event.

  • Lots of cramping
  • Quitting my first GORUCK
  • Philly cheesesteaks

18:00 – the event kicks off in the parking lot of an elementary school. As people are forming into ranks, I’m scoping out the sun and where the shade is so I can get a comfortable standing spot. There’s probably better ways to spend your time but that’s what I went with. We get formed up into 8 companies, 2 regiments, 1 army. Then we move out, ready to wreck some shit. We wrecked some shit all right, and that was just walking. We advanced all of 100 meters when we pull over to get smoked in a soccer field for being unable to walk together (or cadre just fucking with us, same result). Here we picked up our first event withdrawal where homeboy got a concussion but he was OK later at endex.

Witt in his element…surveying everything GORUCK he’s about to crush.

There’s not much to my GOREV story other than we rucked, Top talked about history, we rucked, learned more history, saw some amazing fireflies along the road, and rucked some more. There were only a few interactions I had that were memorable as all we did was walk with our company of ten people while maintaining columns. I was company commander for Bravo Company during my brief guest appearance at this GOREV Heavy.

The first cool thing I saw was a large football-sized-field that was full of fireflies. There was some mist on the ground and it was like a light show. I just needed some glow sticks, some untz untz untz, and some bass you could feel in your chest to set the mood. Second was that as we walked along the road, we were told to keep a look around to appreciate the scenery. I looked right, saw the rolling hills of this nice neighborhood, and could see why people would love this area. I looked left, and imagined the same thing. All I could see was the bottom of a wall and then a fence. If I was taller I bet that shit looked dope though. The third and best moment for me was someone started talking about snipers and I mentioned “Oh yeah I saw that in The Patriot” when Top turns around, yells at me to never mention The Patriot again, then he runs back and yells “Babs, what’s the first rule of GOREV?” and she answers with “Don’t talk about the Patriot!” lmfao

The end.

Oh wait, there’s that part about me quitting #goquit

We were to do a 12 mile team ruck march after a 20 minute refit break. We all loaded up with water and I chugged a bunch of electrolytes but that didn’t work. At mile 2 I started feeling some cramping in my quads. Here we go!! Then a few miles later it moved to my hamstrings as I adjusted my gait. Then my calves. They weren’t intense like I’ve seen with others but I was behind the curve on that one and I couldn’t get ahead of it. I tried another pack of the Trioral salts and gave it a few miles but that didn’t work for me. I was contemplating quitting from the very beginning (like all events I do) but this was the first time I did it #goquit I felt shitty but I also felt great ’cause I didn’t have to worry about cramping anymore. That Trioral salt didn’t work for me. Lesson learned. I’m going back to Endurolytes.

aftermath aar 2

After getting dropped off at the 12 mile end point, Top (cadre Andy) comes over and asks us why we dropped.

*Top writing down why people dropped*

  • “Hip”
  • “Fainted”
  • “Electrolytes out of whack”

*ignores me*
‘hey Top did you put down that I just quit?’
“…yeah I got that.”

Oh 😨

get in that gross water! …ok

I’ve been thinking about how I feel regarding quitting this event. Initially, disappointment. After a few days, I find I don’t care. I don’t know if that’s ego saying I don’t care or if I truly don’t care. I’m not self-aware enough to know if I can differentiate the two. What I do know is that I like that I get to talk about being a quitter for a long time, at least until the next Heavy I finish.

People have messaged me saying “it’ll be all right” and “you don’t have anything to prove” but hell, I’ve been all right. Failing an event is not the end of the world for me. If it were, I’ve had a very fortunate life. I’m not out there doing this because I’ve got something to prove.  If I was trying to prove something, like finishing an event, that was handled back in #281best28x or #heavy10takeakneedrinkwaterandpullsecurity I’m not saying that because I think I’m a proven commodity or I think I’m cool (note: don’t get me wrong, I think I’m cool but it’s not because of this) I’m saying that just because you’ve done it before, it doesn’t mean you will do it again. My pride was saying I could do events without training for them and thankfully I was proven wrong. Nothing like Life telling you that, hey! you suck and you need to #bebetter if you want to crush it and not be crushed. 

Here’s the deal- I’m out there because I enjoy it. The snarky comments, learning, yelling, becoming a team, not becoming a team, messing up, the smells (actually, I could do without this one tbh. It’s 2017 wear some deodorant you savages), the laughter, the joy of helping out your teammates, and most importantly, the suffering. All of that is what I’m there for.

I flew to Philadelphia, drove another hour, walked 15 miles in just over 9 hours, all to drop out of an event. Would I do it all over again?

Where do I sign up?


After close to four years of grey manning I finally got a SCARS patch! RIP babby’s first ruck.

Roughly 20 events with that particular GR1 and it’s taken me to:






Ft. Worth

Oklahoma City


Washington DC

New Orleans


I will say that without getting…how you say, blackout drunk, signing up for my first event (and what I thought knew was going to be my last event about 3 hours into it…lol) and buying this bag that I would not have gone on all of those adventures to those cities I’ve always dreamed about in this short period of time.
You could say I’m pretty happy with that purchase. Not because it’s a cool bag and can hold all my stuff but because it helped me meet a ton of amazing people. I don’t actually like any of them but I pretend to so they can insult me and call mean things on the Facebooks ’cause I like the attention I guess. Another reason I don’t like them is they’re also really, really expensive to hang out with. We can’t like, just watch TV or something. If I want to see them I’ve gotta get flights, hotels, pay for events and there’s possibly a bar tab to cover but that last one is a wash because I might be doing that anyway… maybe.


So I read The Art of Happiness a while ago and I want to say it talked about being thankful for whatever object comes into your life (I could be misattributing this). That you should tell that object, or perhaps acknowledge internally, that the object is going to be with you for a finite amount of time and that you should thank it for the time you’re going to spend with it. It’s hokey as shit, I know, but I did it with that ruck and lots of other things and what do you know, when it’s time to let go it’s a lot easier. I do that with nearly everything I buy now. So I sent my ruck to scars and may have included some fancy beer when I returned it and they wrote me a nice letter and gave me some free swag but the beer isn’t mandatory and more of a thank you.

Farewell, first bag-as-a-backpack, hello dismembered-corpse-of-a-first-bag-as-a-sweet-wire-holder-thing!!

cleaning your ruck

So this works for me but it does involve some work. The quick and easy way to clean a ruck is to take it to the carwash, hang it up on the floor mat part and then blast it with the high pressure hose. It helps get the majority of sand out of the ruck and pockets. That gets the dirt out. If your ruck stinks then I found that this works every time. Also works great for hats or smelly clothing.


0) Beer(s) 

1) Baking soda 

2) Detergent 

3) 5 gallon bucket

4) Vinegar 

5) Hot water 

6) Color safe bleach (optional)  

First thing you do is open the beer and chug it. Next, combine ingredients into bucket. Have another beer. Throw ruck in there. Have all the beers. Wait 12 hours. Empty out bucket.

Rinse and repeat.

That is the Eric Wang Method. 

security and new york

I always feel a little guilty when I let someone into the apartment complex when they don’t know the gate code and can’t get a hold of whoever they are trying to visit. My first thought is always “what if they stab/kill someone” and my follow up to that is “what if they steal some shit?” I don’t have a good answer but that makes for a long one minute ride to where I park my car and then I get over it because I need to climb some stairs.


I spent an amazing 9/11 weekend in New York City with my good buddies Jenks and Barto. We went up to see the city and like all of my trips lately, do a GORUCK Challenge. We flew up on Thursday (9/11) which was kind of sketchy but apparently everyone else was more worried and the flight was only 1/2 full. We landed and after checking into the hotel, we did all sorts of touristy stuff which was fun and ate some amazing food and had one hilariously bad meal in (Times Square).

Nothing can keep us apart (except a glass window at the airport)
Nothing can keep us apart (except a glass window at the airport).

The Challenge was a great time as always. Over 400 people signed up for this event so they split us up into four different teams and we were in Team C. Our start point was the Queensbridge Park but Jenks decided to google “Queensboro Bridge + Park” and as luck would have it, there is a park under the Queensboro Bridge on Roosevelt Island. After some passionate subway debate it was agreed that Jenks is dumb (OK, maybe only I thought that) and that we were getting off the subway in Queens and rucking to the start point. So we had to ruck like 2 miles to the start point (it was only 1/2 mile but felt like the longest distance ever) and we were a few minutes late so we got to get in front leaning rest in front of the class. The first couple of minutes weren’t that bad but man, after those two minutes I turned into the biggest bitch this side of the East River.


Left start point (no). Right start point (yes).

After that was over, we did a PT test and I failed that again (actually, I haven’t met a PT test I could pass) but I did get to run without my shirt on so that was a plus – you’re welcome Class 1164-C and New Yorkers in the park. Then we had a fun Welcome Party and after that it was just a bunch of walking with heavy shit. While walking, they read the names of the victims of the 9/11 attacks and the class would repeat them. It was a pretty real moment and it made 9/11 more meaningful to this guy from Texas. After the Challenge we walked over to O’Hara’s Pub and had some drinks at THE bar to go to for a 9/11 event. Seeing all of the firefighter patches was neat and showed me that there was a real strong brotherhood amongst firefighters.

This was my first event I’ve done without any arch support. For those who aren’t aware, I have bitch feet. That is, I get all the blisters, lose all the toenails and need all the arch support (orthotics or sport insoles). I ran my only 50K a few months ago without arch support and I didn’t have my feet blow up so I figured I’d try the Challenge without it. Not my finest move since I felt a burning intermittently throughout the night in my left foot and that doesn’t show up when I’m using arch support.

Great event with great people is what keeps me going back to these (despite my pending retirement). It’s always fun to meet new people and reconnect with people you didn’t-meet at Trek (hi Jim).  I asked Jenks what we would do if GORUCK ceased to exist and we didn’t know. I’d still be friends with him (despite his conservative views) but we don’t know what we’d do to replace the event (it’s not about the event). It’s all about the people now. And training. I started training for my next event in two weeks.

GORUCK Challenge Class 1164