decaf and love

I say, there’s nothing better than waking up in the morning (at 02:30!) and having a nice warm (not hot) cup of decaf coffee while the world is still quiet. You could argue with me but you would be wrong. I bet you’re sitting there being wrong right now. I’ve thoughtfully composed the definitive list of pros/cons with switching to decaf for a month

The benefits of decaf:

  1. You can drink it all day and not have it affect your sleep
  2. People judge you for your alternative lifestyle
  3. A crushing headache after four days causing you to go to sleep at 20:00/8:00 PM (for those who don’t like to math)

The negatives of decaf:

  1. None

That’s pretty much it. The decaf revolution has begun!

“Need a decaf and love sticker now ” – Phil

So why no caffeine? It’s because Phil is dumb and I hate him. Last year we did this no-caffeine challenge and it was uh…a thing. I tapered heading into it so the caffeine headache wasn’t that bad I don’t think but it’s been a year and maybe I blocked it out? Now we’re just waiting for Tom to jump in on the challenge. 2020 will be the year if I’m a betting man

I’m also drinking a gallon of water a day because I hate my life and just want to hang out in the bathroom all day like a weirdo. I figured that would work out well to offset the headache but clearly it didn’t since I crashed hard yesterday. All better now though. I am aware that you need probably ½ gallon of water if you’re not active and I know there probably aren’t any benefits  (unlike switching to decaf yo) to drinking a gallon of water a day but here we are.

Say one thing about Bee Yang, say that he’s dumb.

I also can’t say that it’s helping my meditation any. But maybe if I meditated harder I would feel the difference.

Anyway, I could go for a damned Monster Lo-Carb right about now. It’s probably because I can’t have the caffeine so I crave it more. I’ll probably definitely chug one as soon as I wake up on March 1, 2019.

Gotta get back to my roots.

Jon N. for the sticker
Phil the Keto for the idiotic challenge two years in a row
Tom for being the control group