The Bomber Bash continued

I actually have memories of this weekend. Damnedest thing, right?

My second favorite part of any event is the ruckoff. Since the Light and the Bomber Bash were being held at the Flying Heart Brewery we had our ruckoff there at noon but there was a problem, the brewery wasn’t open. Not to worry as I had gone to Wal-Mart to get some bug spray/sunblock combo (which burns the neck but not the arms/legs btw) and accidentally ended up in the beer aisle. Strange, I know. But there I discovered SMIRNOFF ICE MOSCOW MULE in a can. That thing was delicious so I chugged a pint of that and had my own ruckoff in the parking lot. Then the bar opened and we all went in and had a pint…well, five of us.

I always feel these awkward moments when the events are starting up. I don’t know if that comes across when talking to me or if that’s just my natural disposition – being awkward. People come up to me and say “hey Bee, haven’t seen you since ___” and I won’t have any idea who they are. Mostly I’m deer-in-headlights but lately my strategy is to be all “sorry, what’s your name again?” I don’t forget names because I know a lot of people from being a minor celebrity. At best, I’m the mildest of celebrity statuses – think, uh…bell pepper hot. I forget names because I am terrible at names and faces UNLESS you look exactly like your FB profile pic then I will know who you are. If I was like Eagle (jalapeno hot) or Bomber (ghost pepper hot) then that would be a good excuse because it’s hard to keep track when you know so many people. Actually, I don’t remember who you are because I’m not good at memory making I’m lazy.

Now that the awkward part is out of the way, we start gearing up for the event. We’re in a loose circle of sorts, as these things go, and I start talking to someone who I actually remember and ask where his wife is and he says “oh we’re not together anymore.” Hmm…awkward.


We get in formation and then Qsik, being who he is, gets singled out at the start. He was talking shit to the cadre’s daughters and they came up with a fun punishment (funishment) for him. He has to push a block around the formation with his head while low crawling. Funny the first minute and then after that he was not a fan of it. I thought it was still funny though.

FUN TIMES with Q, starring Q as Master Low Crawler

Bomber gets some bonus good living by not having his ID or something so he has to hold his ruck over his head and run around the same formation saying “I’m a Marine and I eat crayons.” The first lap he runs around and says “I’m a Marine and we kick SF ass” and lol that was fun for everyone…except Bomber because after like 2 laps he wasn’t looking happy.

Bomber in his happier times.

There are a few who aren’t happy and lots of nervous first timers but whatever, I won’t let them stop me from shining, mofos! I have some beers in my ruck so I crack open my third beer of the day and try not to become a target. Which is easy ’cause I’m short and he can’t see me. The beer isn’t foamy and still chilled, very refreshing. As there’re no welcome parties at Lights now we were doing <stuff and things> and I cracked opened a third beer. This isn’t a good idea in retrospect.

Somewhere during the first hour of the Light we walked barefoot to a fire station and I wanted to quit. Like legitimately wanted to quit and not my usual “this sucks let’s quit.” It’s like, advanced level quitting. Don’t go there if you aren’t ready for it. It was incredibly hot (heat index 101!) but mostly, if I’m being honest, I had too much beer in me and that made for some bad times. Luckily the fire department lent us a hose to get hosed down.

Refreshing! I’m cheating in the background if you are wondering.

The rest of the event was me pretending to carry things and then handing them off as soon as picture time was over because that shit’s heavy. Why would I want to carry it?

Please let me help you get that comfortable.

We legitimately had the best shadow crew because they helped carry shit when life got bad. So did the cadre. We were on a short stretch of road where there was no shade and everyone was getting smoked. It’s a Light. How bad could it be? Real bad. This was David’s regular Challenge load out and there were many tears shed. The rest of the class barely grumbled.

So endex (my favorite part of events) comes up early after Bomber, um, curries some favor with the cadre, and we head back early to retrieve this sweet patch.

Post-event, I’m chatting with anothmer buddy and I ask him where his wife was and guess what?


Damn it.







GORUCK, life