wtf x infinity

Back in February I had an experience wherein I realized several things but the key takeaway is that I’m getting old (WTF). I think everything has been a reminder of that incorrect opinion fact lately.

I had cause to change out my wiper blades the other day and was taken aback (who the hell says stuff like that in real life?) by the prices of AutoZone’s finest (read: cheapest) wipers. Why, back in the day, windshield wipers were $4.99 for the ol’ Integra. Those were circa 2001-2007 prices for wipers at AutoZone.

I went recently and now they’re $17.99 for the cheapest (WTF).

Wipers were $50 for 3 and I didn’t realize it until I had walked out of the store. I can do some basic math so I don’t know why I was surprised when I looked at the receipt while driving back home. WTF $50 for wipers? I’ll return these tomorrow because I already left the parking lot and I’ll return them another day.

I also got angry. I mean, I know it’s not their fault that wipers got more expensive but I got angry


$50 for three wipers? I’ll show you.

So I went online and ordered some from Amazon. Anco. It’s the best brand for me since they’re cheap and I replace them yearly anyway. I once spent several tens of dollars buying top end wiper blades and I didn’t notice any appreciable difference on my Integra so here we are, being cheap. Still, they weren’t $4.99/wiper and instead $7.99 SMH+WTF.

This is when I realized inflation is a thing and not just a concept in a textbook.

So I get my wipers in and install them. I don’t remember them being this difficult but I’m a grown ass man who can do lots of car maintenance (a long time ago, mind you) and I manage to install them, sorta. I always compare my wipers when swapping them and this driver side blade is slightly longer than the one it is replacing. No problem, right?

I test it out and and it hits the passenger side wiper. Easy peasy, adjust the wiper to sit higher. I finish, test successfully, and go back inside.

The next morning I’m driving to work, just barely out of my apartment complex and hit the wipers. It wipes once beautifully, resets, on the second swing it hits the passenger side, wipes again, and knocks that mofo off of my car. I hear the telltale sound of metal on glass knowing I done messed up (WTF).

I pull over and walk back (no cardio to run at 0630) and eventually find my loose wiper. I reconnect it, never use my wiper blade the rest of the morning, and get to work. Back to square one (WTF).

And that’s how I found myself back at Autozone, buying a new wiper blade from them and having it work correctly a week later

This is what crow looks like.

Instead of measuring things by years, we should measure them by how many “WTFs” we have to say when we figure out a thing.

Final damage and moral prideful victory defeat here we are:

  • $53
  • 5 wiper blades
  • 1 week
  • I showed them
  • I did not show them