First of all, 281 > 280.
So today marks 5 years since the start of my GORUCK adventure. I guess you could say it started 5.5 years ago when I first came across the site while looking at my Tough Mudder pictures on the Facebooks. I remember showing up to the ruck off and only having one beer because I was nervous and didn’t want it to mess up my performance.
If I knew how bad it was going to suck I’d have had a bunch more beers back then. I have since made up for that.
I hate to be all “GORUCK changed my life” but I’ll be damned if it didn’t. New friends. New places. Foggy memories. Two out of three ain’t bad.
Some not-important but useful things I’ve picked up over the years:
- I still don’t know how to say ‘Guennael’ (no one does, not even him)
- You should point at things with a pen/object and not your fingers
- You can take off and put it on your backpack way faster than necessary
- Short shorts are the best pants (unless low crawling)
- If you’re Bee Yang you’re wrong (thanks Bert)
- You’ll see the best and worst parts of town at night but all you’ll remember is looking at dat ass in front of you
- You can have 3 24-hour conversations with the person in front of you (at 3 Heavies) and know everything about them except what they look like
- You need more rucks than you think
- You need less people under the log than you think
- Drunk PT is still PT but at least you’ve got mangoritas #MANgoritas
- Until it explodes in your ruck, then you just smell like a fruity drink
- There are many amazing adventures. Please, help yourself.
It’s been a fun five years. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing this much GORUCKing over the next five years. The people are great and that’s why you go back but most of my peeps are moving on to other adventures now. Pretty sure I won’t be buying more rucks because the black ruck is the best ruck and cadre, I’m up on rucks.
By the numbers:
32-1-1 is my record
Event time is roughly 348 hours (5/12/24 per event). It doesn’t include travel or training time. I’ve got a spreadsheet of money spent on it. It’s not pretty. I should have taken up something cheaper.
12 states (Texas. Louisiana. Kansas. Florida. Washington. California. New York. Oklahoma. South Carolina. Colorado. Wisconsin. North Carolina.), Puerto Rico, Washington DC, Normandy
Light 10 – 006, 025, 235, 312, 597, 778, 953, 1027, 1291, 1433
Challenge 15 – 281 best 28x, 553, 766, 777, 887, 1000, 1038, 1090, 1164, 1321, 1434, 1495, 1925, RedDawn100, 2383
Heavy 07 – 010, 023, 030, 040, 073, 114, 152, 194 (quit like a little bitch)
Constellation – 1 – 003
Scavenger – 5 #bourbontabernaclechoir #whiskeytabernaclechoir #gold #dotheymakeothercolorpatches?
7 patches – allegedly™, retired™, anti-bee, officially dumb, you people, you done
That said, babby’s first Heavy back in 2013 is and maybe always will be my most favorite event. So many emotions and memories while going through that. The only pleasant one was when it endexed. Then the bad ones came back when I had to walk like a quarter mile to the car. Then the shower showed me what maceration was all about again.
There has been both a significant time and emotional investment in these events. I reckon it’s time to retire from GORUCK. Shit I already have the retired™ patch. It’s time to hang up my hat. See what else is out there. What next? Bigger and better adventures?
We’re going to Michigan.
For a GORUCK Heavy.
Uh…that’s not how moving on works.